When I first started my personal development journey over 30 years ago, I did it because of a pressing health issue. I grew for a while and then settled into a way of being, only to face another life event (divorce) prompting me to seek growth again. At each point along my journey when my life seemed to just stop working, it was when I finally had to look in the mirror and take ownership instead of just blaming others.
My spiritual life coach taught me that being stuck in the cycle of the “blame, shame, victim game” is an endless cycle if I kept trying to look outside myself for the answers of why my life wasn’t working.
The problem is that because our minds have been collecting evidence of why our lives aren’t working for most of our lives, it is really difficult for us to look within on our own and figure it out. This is because the trauma, the root cause of what is happening is buried deep within us.
It is far easier to look out at our spouses, children, employers, etc., and determine that if they would change; we would feel different.
The problem is that this is simply a rationalization for why our lives are working the way that they are. A rationalization means a “rational lie” that we tell ourselves.
The truth is that we have hidden trauma that is vibrating the same stuck emotional energies out into the world that we felt when we experienced it the first time. If we have emotional energies such as fear, anger or hurt, for example, we are unconsciously, involuntarily sending out these signals into the world.
Think of it like a radar signal being transmitted out and when it hits someone, it bounces off of them and is reflected back to us.
We are vibrating energies out 24/7. If we are sending out mostly positive, happy, joyful energies, it can look like the picture below.
For most of my life, the picture would look more like the Pig Pen character in the Charlie Brown comic strip. A cloud of dirt followed me everywhere I went and if someone got too close, it would get on them too.
When I found the Self-Mastery process, it helped me to become aware in the very first session of how much I had been carrying for which I was either unaware or just accepted as “my life.”
Scheduling the first session was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, because it required me to face the very fears I’d been avoiding for so long. I scheduled it…and then rescheduled it…four times.
The process worked differently than I thought, having been through some amount of counseling before. It peeled away the layers of my pain a little bit at a time and then I had exercises I worked with on the phone which helped me release big chunks of my pain all at once.
My life improved little by little and the glass ceilings which seemed to exist at work preventing me from being given new opportunities seemed to vanish and my salary almost doubled in just a few years. I found a new love in my life and everything seemed to flow more easily without all the anxiety I’d carried.
However, as I learned many years ago, you’re either “green and growing or ripe and rotting.” Growth never ends as long as you’re alive. It is a process of continuous improvement throughout our lives. When we stop growing, we innately become dissatisfied with life and it is normal to then look outside of ourselves for the reason our life is not working. If we take action from a place of dissatisfaction, anger, frustration or hurt, it will inevitably lead to more of the same.
Before I learned this basic metaphysical principle, I would change jobs, girlfriends, or even places to live…only to be faced with similar circumstances from another reflection.
Today, when I realize I am in a dark place, I change myself. I pray, meditate, process my stuck emotional energy and pay very careful attention to the energies to which I am exposing myself such as mass media news, action/violence-laced entertainment, alcohol, caffeine and anything else in which I feel is negatively impacting me, using the physical sensations in my body as my guide.
Even then, I still need to reach out to my own coach from time to time to get help peeling away a layer to which I’m completely unconscious but can see being reflected back to me.
If you wonder why your life isn’t working, consider the perspective shared here. The first session is free and this is where we analyze how much unconscious, stuck energy you’re carrying. No matter what happens, whether you decide to continue with me or not, you’ll receive the analysis.
Love and light to all of those out there struggling and hope this post awakens something within you if nothing else.
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Jeff Scholl is a Certified Spiritual Life Coach through Holistic Learning Centers and a Board-Certified Holistic Health Practitioner through the American Association of Drugless Practitioners. He is also an Executive Contributor to Brainz Magazine.
Learn more at: https://www.apathtopeace.org/