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The Unmistakable Pull of Authenticity

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How honest are you on social media? Do you say what you really think or do you “spin” it so that if seen by your company, family or friends, it won’t bring more controversy to your door?

Now I’m not advocating you go write a manifesto, but rather to civilly engage with others for what you think and why.

Somewhere along the line, I think we lost civil discourse in this country. We lost authenticity and we lost it to such a degree that when we see someone else doing it, it makes us mildly uncomfortable.

I’m just the opposite. What makes me uncomfortable is to present a version of myself that isn’t a true representation of who I am as a human in that moment. I’m not saying I’m right and certainly not that I’m perfect. I’m saying that I’m human and the more I embrace my own humanness, the more comfortable I become being authentically me.

To be honest, it’s something I’m still coming to terms with as it is a recent development.

For most of my life, I was a “people-pleaser.” I would present a version of myself, but hid my true self because I was afraid of being rejected. But living that way prevented me from truly connecting with people in a way that touched my heart. The older I get, the only connections that matter to me are those which touch my heart.

It is my goal to be kind as often as I can, but I used to believe that my spiritual growth meant that I would reach some point where I was only kind in every situation. I feel it set up for me an unrealistic expectation of what it meant to be human.

Humans, even spiritually advanced humans, are not limited to only the emotional vibrations of love, peace, happiness and joy; because to do so, would limit the human experience. In order to expand, grow and evolve, we have to feel frustration, disappointment, fear and anger. The difference between a spiritually advanced human and one who does not understand the value of emotional energies is how that energy is processed and utilized.

As I have progressed in my development, I understand now how to evaluate my emotional energies, process them for what they are teaching me and then how to transmute them into a higher form of energy so I can make a different choice.

I’m not saying this process happens in a manner of seconds. It typically takes me some time to do it. Sometimes it is seconds, sometimes days or weeks, but once I realize I am feeling something…not that something is happening to me that I have to defend myself from, I understand that the responsibility to heal it and create something different…is mine.

As more people are waking up on the planet, we can learn from those that have traveled the path in front of us how to process our emotional energies and learn to connect with others from a place of authenticity.

The people I learned from included Wayne Dyer, Deepak Chopra, Eckhart Tolle, Marianne Williamson, Neale Donald Walsch, Joe Dispenza, Hu Dalconzo and many, many others. I have been studying all forms of spirituality and spiritual psychology for over 30 years and the interesting thing having studied all of this comes down to something I learned from Louise Hay in her book, “You Can Heal Your Life.”

The most important lesson was to “learn to love and accept yourself.”

We cannot give away something to someone else until we own it for ourselves. Until we love and accept ourselves, we cannot give that away to others. Until we love and accept ourselves, we cannot accept ourselves as the blessings we are to the world as someone who is authentically human.

Try this as an exercise. The next time you pass by a mirror, lean close, look deeply in your eyes and say, “I love you.” Lean in a little closer, look deeper into your eyes and say it again with as much feeling as you can muster, “I LOVE you.”

When I did this the first time, I couldn’t do it. I looked away and told myself, “This is stupid.” It took me awhile to push through my uncomfortableness to stay there and say it again with as much feeling as possible, “I love you.”

When I finally could do it with feeling, I cried.

I realized how long I had denied myself love and that this is why I had sought so much to please others. I was trying to get from others an energy I carried within me…just as you carry it within you.

I will also say that coming out of that type of dysfunctional thinking can be difficult. I probably made a fool of myself with some people because I wasn’t comfortable with the new me when I first revealed him. So I went back and forth, pulling him forward and then feeling worried that it wasn’t safe to be that person.

My coach taught me that I didn’t have to learn to be the real me 100% of the time to hit a tipping point or even 90% of the time. I just had to hit that 51% tipping point and I feel like I passed that mark awhile back. But I will say that having hit it, the people I now make uncomfortable are those who are feeling the tug of their souls to become more authentic and are resisting it.

I tend to now attract people who are willing to be humble enough to admit it when they make a mistake and repel those who are unwilling to look inwards for the source of their pain. It’s taken me a long time to accept that this is the mission I chose for this lifetime…to teach authenticity and to exemplify it in all of its perfect imperfections.

If this is something I can help you with, feel free to reach out. If you just want a question answered, but don’t want to chat, send me a DM and I will use your question as a blog post to answer your question and help others.

In the meantime, be authentic to who you are, even if you worry it makes you vulnerable.

I learned from Hu Dalconzo that it was my “vulnerability which would make me invulnerable” and he was right. When you become comfortable with your vulnerability, you feel and emit the vibration of security and when you fully trust in your vibration, nothing can harm you.

With all that is going on in our world today, the energy of security is needed.



© 2023. All rights reserved.

Jeff Scholl is a Certified Spiritual Life Coach through Holistic Learning Centers and a Board-Certified Holistic Health Practitioner through the American Association of Drugless Practitioners.


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