top of page

Learning to Flow


I started my first blog and website under the title of “Learning to Flow” over 16 years ago. It represented what I felt to be my reality at the time. I had started my awakening process rather awkwardly in 1990 through the development of a deep vein thrombosis that nearly killed me while serving in the U.S. Navy. I wrote about this in my book, “A Path to Peace: A Reluctant Spiritual Journey,” so won’t go into further detail here.

I see many people starting to go through the same initial awakening stages that I went through initially. While some people may be presented with a life-threatening situation, others may just be increasingly aware that either something has changed or needs to change. If we are unconscious of these feelings, we may look out at our relationships, our jobs, our bodies or even where we live as the source of our discomfort.

As I’ve shared before, one of the great lessons I learned from one of my mentors is that we’re “either green and growing or ripe and rotting.”

Often however, the change we need to make lies within us. If we can accept that our beliefs and primarily our unconscious beliefs are creating our outward reality; if we make a change without addressing the inner belief, what is driving the change may simply show up again in another form.

I am not saying you shouldn’t change your job, relationship or improve your health as often the little steps we take to feel better about our lives, gives us a positive boost in optimism to continue changing and growing.

What I am saying is to look within for which choice feels more joyful.

I spoke to someone recently who was considering taking a new job. When they spoke of it, they were almost gleeful about the possibilities and the opportunity for change. When they spoke of the job they currently had, they talked about being passed over for promotions, missed opportunities and their frustrations.

I hope this person moves into their joy and then focuses on more things to be joyful about instead of continuing to focus on what they are frustrated about.

When we start to change our mindset from “Why is this happening to me?” to “What is this teaching me?” and we go within for those answers instead of continuing to let mind think the same thoughts over and over, we create a space for new information to flow into our lives.

One of the best ways I create this space for new information is meditation. When I am meditating on a regular basic, my life flows. This means that the situations and events that normally frustrate me, just don’t. I find that my work almost feels easy.

This can be disconcerting at first as for many of us, our minds are programmed to believe that work is supposed to be stressful.

The more I meditated and found that my work was becoming less stressful, yet saw so many people around me all stressed out; I initially felt kind of guilty. I started to think that I wasn’t working hard enough and would then either take on more responsibility or refuse to give up tasks to others believing I just needed to do it.

As I continued to meditate, I accepted the flow. I accepted what it felt like to have more work/life balance and more time to play; something I had not really allowed myself to do much of for years.

The other primary skill I learned was how to face and feel my feelings. I have had varying degrees of anxiety most of my life and in understanding how the belief I wasn’t safe formed when I was a small child; it helped me to face it more directly when it came up. When I was unconscious to it, I would often project those feelings out onto someone else. I would overreact to triggers because what people were unknowingly doing was stepping on a toe that was already sore.

I’m pretty conscious of those things today, but it still occasionally happens. I learned however to assess emotional upsets in terms of Duration, Intensity and Frequency.

Being spiritual or awakened does not mean you will never get angry, frustrated disappointed, hurt or feel fear. Having all of these emotions is part of the human experience.

It does mean that you don’t get stuck in those emotions for very long.

I included an Emotional Energies chart in my book and explain that the purpose of the chart is to “become aware of how often you feel a certain way, how long you stay in that vibrational state and how often you return to it. It is very important to develop a sense of awareness of what you feel if you are to change your life.

As Einstein said, “You cannot solve a problem with the same consciousness that created it.”

If you want to change your life, you have to be willing to understand where your life is not flowing and what is holding back the flow. The Universe is ALL about flow and ALL about new possibilities in order to continually change and grow.

When my life isn’t working, I am usually the one holding me back; not someone else. When I realize my life isn’t flowing, I meditate. I feel whatever isn’t flowing and ask it what I need to do to move forward. I focus on what I want to feel and open to new possibilities and then I simply trust that those new opportunities will show up at the right time and in the right way.

What is holding you back from your life flowing?

Write about it. Write out what you think stops you from creating what it is you most want in your life. Sometimes writing it out and then just reading it out loud helps those old stuck emotions to come up so they can be released. When they do, FEEL them. Don’t judge them or tell yourself that you shouldn’t be feeling whatever you are feeling, just FEEL them. Feel angry, hurt, disappointed, worried, frustrated, embarrassed…whatever you are feeling, just feel it.

When we don’t feel these energies, they can get stuck in the body and create dis-ease. Having experienced this for myself; I don’t wish it on anyone, so learning to feel as a man who grew up with people teaching me that men don’t feel is an extremely important skill to learn.

Men feel. Men cry and it is almost impossible to be mentally, emotionally and physically healthy without giving ourselves permission to release emotional energy this way.

Learn to flow with life. Give yourself permission to play, to love, to cry, to feel and anything else you feel you’ve never had permission to do.

Love yourself enough to make healing your first priority and recognize the nudges of discomfort from the Universe as your wake-up call. It’s time to learn how to flow with life.



© 2023. All rights reserved.

Jeff Scholl is a Certified Spiritual Life Coach through Holistic Learning Centers and a Board-Certified Holistic Health Practitioner through the American Association of Drugless Practitioners.


bottom of page